妳可以自己調節角色~
（因為是搞笑，所以不必太拘謹。普通臺詞意思對即可。）
[開始。樹）上臺安靜地屹立到舞臺較後方。導演（範冰）走到臺前]
導演：Action！[跑下臺]
[農夫冷酷地上。]
農夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停頓）[走兩步]A modern farmer.（掏出墨鏡戴上）[冷酷地走兩步，突然被絆了壹跤，回頭生氣地踢了下絆自己的石頭，繼續保持冷酷]When I was yong,I studied in Nan~tong Middle School[掏出胸卡驕傲地展示給觀眾看，收起]！So I’m rich now！[開始展示名牌，邊說邊掏]Look！This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250！This is my Swatch!This my MP3!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS!This is… [不經意地掏出壹個蘋果]Oh,sorry. And look at this![從懷裏掏出癢癢撓] Do U know what’s this？癢癢撓？No no no~~It’s my modern——鋤頭~！！[看下表]It’s time to do some farming！[開始彎下腰做出鋤地的動作，鋤了兩下，突然] Oh yes!I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上，開始很有激情地邊鋤地邊唱]Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming should be combined with music~!Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming will be funny and easy~![邊唱邊鋤邊慢慢下臺，把沒用的道具拿走，把有用的道具準備在口袋裏] [樹走上前臺]
樹：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出瘋狂搖滾歌手的動作，邊做邊唱：哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鵝]I’m tall!And I’m Strong!IF you hit me,you will 掛掉！Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引導觀眾看兔子A)。樹站回後臺]
[兔子A上]
兔子A（壹開始不知道狀況。以為自己扮演周傑倫，所以很熱情地上場跟觀眾打招呼）：Hey everybody,I’m Jay!I love U!I love Nantong![展示新專輯《十壹月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U！The name of the song is 《發如雪》！[清清嗓子正要唱，這時候導演（範冰）上]
導演：[拿手中紙筒狠狠打了下兔子A的頭]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit,understand?![兔子A：Sorry sorry sorry] [導演邊說邊奪過《十壹月的肖邦》。導演下臺之前，看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看，驚喜地]Oh!It’s mine！（很興奮地拿著下場）
兔子A：OK,now I’m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I’m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在場上轉圈，悠閑散步]
[農夫繼續鋤地，邊鋤邊上場，突然看見前面有個兔子]
農夫：（驚喜地）Lunch！[扔掉癢癢撓]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子後面走]
[農夫跟在兔子後面。兩個人走啊走。兔子突然回頭。農夫假裝看手表。兩人繼續走。兔子回頭。農夫假裝看天氣。兩人繼續走。兔子回頭。農夫假裝打手機。兩人繼續走，兔子回頭。這次農夫冷酷地把槍口對準了兔子。]
兔子A：Wahhhh~!（嚇壹跳）What’s this！
農夫：Hnnnn…！I will kill U for lunch!
兔子A：But your gun… [幫農夫把槍頭調轉過來（農夫壹開始把槍對著自己）]
農夫：Thank you!
兔子A：My pleasure. （突然想起來農夫要殺自己） Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑，躲到樹後面，農夫追到樹前]
農夫：Where~ to go? Haha!
[農夫開了壹槍“砰”。兔子在樹後驚慌躲閃，沒被打到。樹做出受傷中彈狀。 農夫又開槍，同上。 農夫開始加快頻率，火力密集地開槍。兔子開始時驚慌躲閃，躲著躲著跳起舞來。樹繼續痛苦中彈狀。]
兔子A[自我陶醉中，邊跳邊說]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me！
樹：[痛苦萬分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪動到兔子背後]
[兔子繼續興奮地跳舞。農夫停止開槍，走到兔子面前，看著它。 兔子猛然擡頭發現]
農夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [舉槍對準兔子，開槍，沒聲音，看看槍，示意沒子彈了。兔子見狀，非常興奮地大笑起來]
兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now！ [興奮大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到後仰。突然頭撞倒了後面的樹] Wa ！[兔子暈兩下~~ “我倒！” 倒地]
農夫：OH! [很興奮地過去兩個手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [想壹下] But I’m still full now.Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep.I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子綁到樹上。倒地睡到樹旁邊]
……
兔子A：[兔子很快醒了，看看四周，發現自己被綁了，很驚訝]Where am I? What happened?
樹：[指著農夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you.
兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape？[東張西望，看到農夫的手機]
[兔子不知不覺地把樹杈移開，走到手機前看了看]咦？What’s this？[撿起來看]Oh,a mobile.[再看]It’s beautiful.[放回原處。 又自覺地把自己綁在樹上。 突然想起來]A mobile！Maybe I can call some one to help me！ [又不知不覺地把自己放出來，那起手機] But how to use it？
樹：[走上前]Let me tell U.Look,press this button![給兔子]
兔子A：Oh I see. [做出打電話的樣子] 餵？
李詠：[上臺，激情澎湃地] Hello！This is lucky fifty-two！[做出幸運52的手勢]I’m Liyong！Now let’s start our first question！What’s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正？ A. Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me,please!
兔子A：（很冷漠地）Sorry， wrong number.[掛掉]
李詠：Answer me!Answer me! En..?餵？餵餵？[很郁悶地下臺]
兔子A：Now let me call again.[撥打] 餵？
兔子B：餵？
兔子A：Hey Jackey！
兔子B：Hey tommy!
兔子A：How are you doing?
兔子B：Fine,thank you.And U?
兔子A：I’m fine too!How are your parents doing?
兔子B：They are fine,thank you.And U?
兔子A：They are fine,too!How is your uncle doing?
兔子B：He’s fine,thank you!And U?
兔子A：He’s fine , too!
兔子B：But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!!
兔子A：No no no!I’m in danger now!Come and help me!!!
兔子B：But where are you?
兔子A：I’m under a tree!
兔子B：[邊打電話邊在附近走，經過兔子A面前，兩個人還沒發現]What can you see around you?
兔子A：I see a rabbit ,rather like you!
兔子B：A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I’ll soon come!Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆離開]
[兔子A 打完電話，小心翼翼地把手機放回農夫處，還很有禮貌地說了句“Thank you.” 然後又很自覺地把自己綁回了樹上]
兔子A：Hahaha!My friend will come and save me,yeah! [興奮過度，後仰，頭又撞倒樹上，昏眩中…“我暈！” 又暈了]
[兔子B上。]兔子B：I’m also rabbit！I’m clever! I’m brave ! And I’m strong! [展示肌肉] OH！My friend is here!Let me help him out! [費力地想把樹枝（雙臂）挪開，使了幾次勁，還是不行] It’s too tight! I must think of a good way! [看到農夫扔掉的癢癢撓] Let’s see,what’s this！A 鋤頭！[裝作打高爾夫球，試了試鋤頭手感]Oh,it’s nice.[走到樹面前，正要砍]
樹：Stop！！！What will you do?
兔子B：I will cut you down to save my friend.
樹：O. [突然醒悟] What?! Cut me down?! Teachers told us that we should protect the environment! Understand?!
兔子B：Oh yes！You are right! [扔掉鋤頭] I have to think of another idea! [想了想] Oh!![靈感突來][看了看手表] Oh it’s time to do morning exercise ！Come on! [開始帶頭做早操。做著做著對樹說“Follow me！” （企圖讓樹動起來，兩只手松開，這樣就可以救出兔子A）樹也開始跟著做起早操。 兔子B輕輕上前，想救出兔子A。但是樹的廣播操動作恰好都是會擋住營救的。兔子B狂汗… -_-b 廣播操畢。樹繼續綁著兔子A]
兔子B：Why?! Maybe I need another idea. Oh!I’v got it！Music！ [音響放起泰坦尼克號主題曲高潮前奏。 兔子B抱住樹，企圖引導樹像女主角壹樣張開雙臂，放出兔子A。樹漸漸陶醉，手緩緩松開。兔子B正要搭救同伴，突然兔子A兩只手張開，成了女主角動作。樹又抱住了兔子A的腰，成了男主角動作。樹和A陶醉其中。B要喚醒A：“Wake up!Wake up!”
兔子A沈醉其中，完全不理它，還用腳踹走要救它的B：“Don’t disturb me！”繼續陶醉。]
兔子B：（無奈ing…）Stop！！！（音樂停） （沮喪）I can’t save my friend…[掏出紙巾想要擦汗，帶出10塊錢，掉在地上]
樹：Money！[壹個箭步沖上去撿起錢，回到原位並且對著太陽驗鈔。]
兔子A：[看四周] I’m free!!!Oh yes,I’m free!Thank you,Jackey! [慢動作深情撲向兔子B] Jackey~~~~ [突然兔子B低頭系鞋帶。兔子A控制不住壹下子撞在樹上，暈兩下說：“暴頭！”死翹。] [兔子B見狀沖上去，深情地摟住A：“Tommy!Tommy！”[傷心地俯下身子，緊緊抱住A]
[這時睡覺中的農夫突然壹個翻身，又把B壓在了下面]
兔子B：I…can’t….breath……I’m dying!!!! [也翹了]
農夫：[農夫這時候醒了。擦了下口水，看見兩只兔子] En..?Two rubbits! I rememer I have caught just one?! Oh,maybe I drank too much.
[興奮地壹手提壹只兔子，哼著小曲下場]
樹：[還在驗鈔的樹正在高興，突然發現是假鈔]A！It’s a fake！Wait for me！[追下去]