A reader in Florida, apparently bruised by some personal experience, writes in to complain, "If I steal a nickel's worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another's wife, I am free."
This is a prevalent misconception in many people's minds---that love, like merchandise, can be "stolen". Numerous states, in fact, have enacted laws allowing damages for "alienation of affections".
But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality.
When a husband or wife is "stolen" by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, was already predisposed toward a new partner. The "love bandit" was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.
We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of the children "belonging" to their parents. But nobody "belongs" to anyone else. Each person belongs to himself, and to God. Children are entrusted to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents' trusteeship.
Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder---but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that "caused" the break, but the lack of a real relationship.
On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a "third party". This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.
Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has "come between" oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others---they are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill.
But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him--- and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any "third party" has appeared on the scene.
譯文：愛情不是商品
佛羅裏達州的壹位讀者顯然是在個人經歷上受過創傷, 他寫信來抱怨道: “如果我偷走了五分錢的商品, 我就是個賊, 要受到懲罰, 但是如果我偷走了他人妻子的愛情, 我沒事兒。”
這是許多人心目中普遍存在的壹種錯誤觀念——愛情, 像商品壹樣, 可以 “偷走”。實際上，許多州都頒布法令，允許索取“情感轉讓”賠償金。
但是愛情並不是商品；真情實意不可能買到，賣掉，交換，或者偷走。愛情是誌願的行動，是感情的轉向，是個性發揮上的變化。
當丈夫或妻子被另壹個人“偷走”時，那個丈夫或妻子就已經具備了被偷走的條件，事先已經準備接受新的伴侶了。這位“愛匪”不過是取走等人取走、盼人取走的東西。
我們往往待人如物。我們甚至說孩子“屬於”父母。但是誰也不“屬於”誰。人都屬於自己和上帝。孩子是托付給父母的，如果父母不善待他們，州政府就有權取消父母對他們的托管身份。
我們多數人年輕時都有過戀人被某個更有誘惑力、更有吸引力的人奪去的經歷。在當時，我們興許怨恨這位不速之客---但是後來長大了，也就認識到了心上人本來就不屬於我們。並不是不速之客“導致了”決裂，而是缺乏真實的關系。
從表面上看，許多婚姻似乎是因為有了“第三者”才破裂的。然而這是壹種心理上的幻覺。另外那個女人，或者另外那個男人，無非是作為借口，用來解除早就不是完好無損的婚姻罷了。
因失戀而痛苦，因別人“插足”於自己與心上人之間而圖報復，是最沒有出息、最自作自受的樂。這種事總是歪曲了事實真相，因為誰都不是給別人當俘虜或犧牲品——人都是自由行事的，不論命運是好是壞，都由自己來作主。
但是，遭離棄的情人或配偶無法相信她的心上人是自由地背離他的——因而他歸咎於插足者心術不正或迷人有招。他把他叫做催眠師、竊賊或破壞家庭的人。然而，從大多數事例看，壹個家的破裂，是早在什麽“第三者”出現之前就開始了的。
二：放慢妳的腳步
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street，
going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out
from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw
something.
As his car passed， one child appeared， and a brick smashed into the Jag's
side door. He slammed on the brakes and spun the Jag back to the spot from where
the brick had been
thrown.
He jumped out of the car, grabbed some kid and pushed him up against a parked
car， shouting， "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are
you doing?"Building up a head of steam， he went on"That's a new car and that
brick you threw is gonna cost a lot of money. Why did you do
it?"
“Please， mister， please， I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do!”pleaded
the youngster." It's my brother，" he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out
of his wheelchair and I can't lift him
up.
Sobbing， the boy asked the executive， "Would you please help me get him back
into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for
me."
Moved beyond words， the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in
his throat. He lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his
handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts， checking to see that everything was
going to be
okay.
"Thank you， sir. And God bless you，" the grateful child said to him. The man
then watched the little boy push his brother to the sidewalk toward their
home.
It was a long walk backs to his Jaguar... a long， slow walk. He never did
repair the side door. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so
fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your
attention.
Life whispers in your soul and speaks to your heart. Sometimes,when you don't
have the time to listen,it's your choice: Listen to the whispers of your soul or
wait for the brick!
Do you sometimes ignore loved ones because your life is too fast and busy
leaving them to wonder whether you really love
them?
譯文：壹位年輕的總裁，以有點快的車速，開著他的新車子經過住宅區的巷道。他必須小心遊戲中的孩子突然跑到路中央，所以當他覺得小孩子快跑出來時，就要減慢車速。
就在他的車經過壹群小朋友的時候，壹個小朋友丟了壹塊磚頭打到了他的車門，他很生氣的踩了煞車並後退到磚頭丟出來的地方。
他跳出車外，抓了那個小孩，把他頂在車門上說：“妳為什麽這樣做，妳知道妳剛剛做了什麽嗎？”
接著又吼道：“妳知不知道妳要賠多少錢來修理這臺新車，妳到底為什麽要這樣做？”
小孩子求著說：“先生，對不起，我不知道我還能怎麽辦？” 他接著說：“因為我哥哥從輪椅上掉下來，我沒辦法把他擡回去。”
那男孩啜泣著說：“妳可以幫我把他擡回去嗎？他受傷了，而且他太重了我抱不動。”
這些話讓這位年輕的總裁深受感動，他抱起男孩受傷的哥哥，幫他坐回輪椅上。並拿出手帕擦拭他哥哥的傷口，以確定他哥哥沒有什麽大問題。
那個小男孩感激地說：“謝謝妳，先生，上帝保佑妳。” 然後他看著男孩推著他哥哥回去。
年輕總裁返回的路變的很漫長，他也沒有修他汽車的側門。他保留著車上的凹痕就是提醒自己。生活的道路不要走的太匆忙，否則需要其他人敲打自己來註意生活的真諦。
當生命想與妳的心靈竊竊私語時，若妳沒有時間，妳有兩種選擇：傾聽妳心靈的聲音或讓磚頭來砸妳！
請問妳是否曾因為生活太快、太忙碌而忽略了妳所愛的人，然後讓他們開始開始懷疑起妳是不是真的愛他們呢？
三：Facing the Sea With Spring Blossoms—HaiZi
From tomorrow on,I will be a happy man.
Grooming,chopping and traveling all over the world.
From tomorrow on,I will care foodstuff and vegetable.
Living in a house towards the sea, with spring
blossoms.
From tomorrow on,write to each of my dear ones.
Telling them of my happiness.
What the lightening of happiness has told me.
I will spread it to each of them.
Give a warm name for every river and every mountain.
Strangers,I will also wish you happy.
May you have a brilliant future!
May you lovers eventually become spouses!
May you enjoy happiness in this earthly world!
I only wish to face the sea, with spring blossoms.
譯文：面朝大海，春暖花開—海子
從明天起，做壹個幸福的人
餵馬，劈柴，周遊世界
從明天起，關心糧食和蔬菜
我有壹所房子，面朝大海，春暖花開
從明天起，和每壹個人通信
告訴他們我的幸福
那幸福的閃電告訴我的
我將告訴每壹個人
給每壹條河每壹座山取壹個溫暖的名字
陌生人，我也為妳祝福
願妳有壹個燦爛的前程
願有情人終成眷屬
願妳們在塵世獲得幸福
我只願面朝大海，春暖花開
四：True Nobility
In a calm sea every man is a pilot.
But all sunshine without shade, all pleasure without pain, is not life at all.Take the lot of the happiest - it is a tangled yarn.Bereavements and blessings,one following another, make us sad and blessed by turns. Even death itself makes life more loving. Men come closest to their true selves in the sober moments of life, under the shadows of sorrow and loss.
In the affairs of life or of business, it is not intellect that tells so much as character, not brains so much as heart, not genius so much as self-control, patience, and discipline, regulated by judgment.
I have always believed that the man who has begun to live more seriously within begins to live more simply without. In an age of extravagance and waste, I wish I could show to the world how few the real wants of humanity are.
To regret one's errors to the point of not repeating them is true repentance.There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.
譯文： 真正的高貴
在風平浪靜的大海上,每個人都是領航員。
但只有陽光沒有陰影,只有快樂沒有痛苦,根本不是真正的生活.就拿最幸福的人來說,他的生活也是壹團纏結在壹起的亂麻。痛苦與幸福交替出現,使得我們壹會悲傷壹會高興。甚至死亡本身都使得生命更加可愛。在人生清醒的時刻,在悲傷與失落的陰影之下,人們與真實的自我最為接近。
在生活和事業的種種事務之中，性格比才智更能指導我們，心靈比頭腦更能引導我們，而由判斷獲得的克制、耐心和教養比天分更能讓我們受益。
我壹向認為，內心生活開始更為嚴謹的人，他的外在生活也會變得更為簡樸。在物欲橫流的年代，但願我能向世人表明：人類的真正需求少得多麽可憐。
反思自己的過錯不至於重蹈覆轍才是真正的悔悟。高人壹等並沒有什麽值得誇耀的。真正的高貴是優於過去的自已。
五：行如其人
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon in Oklahoma City. My friend and proud father Bobby Lewis was taking his two little boys to play miniature golf. He walked up to the fellow at the ticket counter and said, "How much is it to get in?"
The young man replied, "$3.00 for you and $3.00 for any kid who is older than six. We let them in free if they are six or younger. How old are they?"
Bobby replied, "The lawyer's three and the doctor is seven, so I guess I owe you $6.00."
The man at the ticket counter said, "Hey, Mister, did you just win the lottery or something? You could have saved yourself three bucks. You could have told me that the older one was six; I wouldn't have known the difference." Bobby replied, "Yes, that may be true, but the kids would have known the difference."
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying." In challenging times when ethics are more important than ever before, make sure you set a good example for everyone you work and live with.
譯文：
行如其人
這是奧克拉荷馬城的壹個晴朗的星期六下午。我的朋友巴比·路易斯，壹位令人敬佩的父親，帶著他的兩個小兒子去玩迷妳高爾夫。他走向售票處，向售票員問道：“進去需要花多少錢？”
那個年輕人回答道：“妳，3美元；6歲以上的兒童，3美元。6歲以下的兒童免費。他們多大了？”
巴比回答：“律師，3歲；醫生，7歲。所以我想我應該付給妳6美元。”
那個售票的說：“嘿，先生，妳是剛贏了彩票還是怎麽了？妳本可以省下3美元的。妳可以告訴我，最大的6歲。我根本看不出來。”巴比回答：“對，那可能行得通，但是這些孩子會知道這其中的差別。”
就像拉爾夫·沃爾多·愛默生說的那樣：“妳本身要比妳所說的話重要。”在這個道德比以往任何時候都重要的年代裏，妳最好給和妳壹起妳生活和工作的人樹立壹個良好的榜樣。
ps：（這上面的文章有壹部分是雜誌英語廣場上的，如果妳不喜歡，我可以給妳壹個網址，妳可以自己找需要的。另外，求采納哦！）
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