Some things are hard to remember. I'm thinking now of when Stradlater got back from his date with Jane. I mean I can't remember exactly what I was doing when I heard his goddam stupid footsteps coming down the corridor. I probably was still looking out the window, but I swear I can't remember. I was so damn worried, that's why. When I really worry about something, I don't just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something. Only, I don't go. I'm too worried to go. I don't want to interrupt my worrying to go. If you knew Stradlater, you'd have been worried, too. I'd double-dated with that bastard a couple of times, and I know what I'm talking about. He was unscrupulous. He really was.
有的事情很難回憶。我現在正在回想斯特拉德萊塔跟琴約會後回來時候的情景。我是說我怎麽也記不起我聽到他混帳的腳步聲從走廊傳來時我到底在幹什麽。我大概還在往窗外眺望，可我發誓說我怎麽也記不起來了。原因是，我當時心裏煩得要命。我要是為什麽事心裏真正煩起來，就不再胡鬧。我心裏壹煩，甚至都得上廁所。只是我不肯動窩兒，我煩得甚至都不想動，我不願隨便動窩兒打斷自己的煩惱。要是妳認識斯特拉德萊塔，妳也壹準會心煩。我曾跟那雜種壹塊兒約會過女朋友，我知道我自己說的什麽。他這人不知廉恥。他真是這樣的人。
Anyway, the corridor was all linoleum and all, and you could hear his goddam footsteps coming right towards the room. I don't even remember where I was sitting when he came in--at the window, or in my chair or his. I swear I can't remember.
嗯，走廊上鋪著厚厚的油氈，妳聽得見他那混帳的腳步聲正往房裏走來。我甚至記不起他進來的時候我到底坐在什麽地方——坐在窗邊呢，還是坐在我自己的或者他的椅子上。我可以發誓，我再也記不得了。
He came in griping about how cold it was out. Then he said, "Where the hell is everybody? It's like a goddam morgue around here." I didn't even bother to answer him. If he was so goddam stupid not to realize it was Saturday night and everybody was out or asleep or home for the week end, I wasn't going to break my neck telling him. He started getting undressed. He didn't say one goddam word about Jane. Not one. Neither did I. I just watched him. All he did was thank me for letting him wear my hound's-tooth. He hung it up on a hanger and put it in the closet.
他進來的時候沒事找碴兒，怪外面天氣太冷。接著他說：“他媽的這兒的人都到哪兒去了？簡直象個混帳停屍場。”我甚至都沒肯答理他。誰叫他自己他媽的那麽傻，都不知道這是星期六晚上，大夥兒不是外出度周末，就是睡覺或回家去了，所以我也不會急於告訴他。他開始脫衣服。關於琴的事他壹字沒提。連吭都沒吭壹聲。我也和他壹樣。我只是拿眼望著他。他只是就我借給他穿狗齒花紋上衣的事向我道謝了壹聲。他把上衣搭在壹個衣架上，放進了壁櫥。
Then when he was taking off his tie, he asked me if I'd written his goddam composition for him. I told him it was over on his goddam bed. He walked over and read it while he was unbuttoning his shirt. He stood there, reading it, and sort of stroking his bare chest and stomach, with this very stupid expression on his face. He was always stroking his stomach or his chest. He was mad about himself.
後來，他在解領帶的時候，問我替他寫了那篇混帳作文沒有。我對他說就在他自己的混帳床上。他走過去壹面解襯衫鈕扣，壹面看作文。他站在那兒，壹邊看，壹邊用手摩挲著自己光著的胸脯和肚皮，臉上露出壹種極傻的神情。他老是在摩挲自己的肚皮和胸脯。他瘋狂地愛著自己。
All of a sudden, he said, "For Chrissake, Holden. This is about a goddam baseball glove."
突然他說：“天哪，霍爾頓。這寫的是壹只混帳的壘球手套呢。”
"So what?" I said. Cold as hell.
“怎麽啦？”我說。冷得象塊冰。
"Wuddaya mean so what? I told ya it had to be about a goddam room or a house or something."
“妳說怎麽啦是什麽意思？我不是跟妳說過，要寫他媽的壹個房間、壹所房子什麽的！”
"You said it had to be descriptive. What the hell's the difference if it's about a baseball glove?"
“妳說要寫篇描寫文章。要是寫了篇談壘球手套購，他媽的有什麽不壹樣？”
"God damn it." He was sore as hell. He was really furious. "You always do everything backasswards." He looked at me. "No wonder you're flunking the hell out of here," he said. "You don't do one damn thing the way you're supposed to. I mean it. Not one damn thing."
“真他媽的。”他氣得要命。他這次是真生氣了。“妳幹的事情沒壹樣對頭。”他看著我。“怪不得要把妳他媽的開除出去，”他說。“要妳於的事他媽的沒壹樣是好好照著幹的。我說的是心裏話。他媽的壹樣也沒有。”
"All right, give it back to me, then," I said. I went over and pulled it right out of his goddam hand. Then I tore it up.
“好吧，那就還給我好了，”我說。我走過去，把作文從他的混帳手裏奪過來，撕得粉碎。
"What the hellja do that for?" he said.
“妳他媽的寫那玩藝兒幹什麽？”他說。
I didn't even answer him. I just threw the pieces in the wastebasket. Then I lay down on my bed, and we both didn't say anything for a long time. He got all undressed, down to his shorts, and I lay on my bed and lit a cigarette. You weren't allowed to smoke in the dorm, but you could do it late at night when everybody was asleep or out and nobody could smell the smoke. Besides, I did it to annoy Stradlater. It drove him crazy when you broke any rules. He never smoked in the dorm. It was only me.
我甚至都沒回答他。我只是把碎紙扔進字紙簍，回到自己的床上躺下，有好長時間我們兩人誰都沒說話。他把衣服全脫了，只剩下褲衩，我呢，就歪在床上點了支煙。宿舍裏本來不準吸煙，可等到夜深人靜，大夥兒有的睡覺有的外出，沒人聞得到煙味的時候，妳可以偷著吸。再說，我這樣做也是故意跟斯特拉德萊塔搗蛋。他只要見人不守校規，就會氣得發瘋。他自己從來不在宿舍裏吸煙。只有我壹個人吸。
He still didn't say one single solitary word about Jane. So finally I said, "You're back pretty goddam late if she only signed out for nine-thirty. Did you make her be late signing in?"
關於琴的事他依舊只字不提。因此最後我說：“要是她外出的時間只簽到九點三十，妳倒他媽的回來得挺晚呢。妳讓她回去得遲了？”
He was sitting on the edge of his bed, cutting his goddam toenails, when I asked him that. "Coupla minutes," he said. "Who the hell signs out for nine-thirty on a Saturday night?" God, how I hated him.
他正在自己的床沿上鉸他的混帳腳趾甲，聽我問他，就回答說：“遲到壹兩分鐘。在星期六晚上，有誰他媽的把外出時間簽到九點三十的？”天哪，我有多恨他。
"Did you go to New York?" I said.
“妳們到紐約去了沒有？”我說。
"Ya crazy? How the hell could we go to New York if she only signed out for nine-thirty?"
“妳瘋了？她要是只簽到九點三十，我們怎麽能去他媽的紐約？”
"That's tough."
“這倒是糟糕。”
He looked up at me. "Listen," he said, "if you're gonna smoke in the room, how 'bout going down to the can and do it? You may be getting the hell out of here, but I have to stick around long enough to graduate."
他擡起頭來瞅著我。“聽著，”他說，“妳要是非在房裏抽煙不可，幹嗎不到廁所裏去抽？妳或許他媽的就要滾出這個學校，我可要壹直呆到畢業哩。”
I ignored him. I really did. I went right on smoking like a madman. All I did was sort of turn over on my side and watched him cut his damn toenails. What a school. You were always watching somebody cut their damn toenails or squeeze their pimples or something.
我沒理睬他。我真的沒有。我象瘋子似的壹個勁兒抽著煙。我只是側轉身來瞅著他鉸他的混帳腳趾甲。什麽個學校！妳老得瞅著人鉸他的混帳腳趾甲，或是擠他的粉刺，或是諸如此類的玩藝兒。
"Did you give her my regards?" I asked him.
“妳替我問候她了沒有？”我問他。
"Yeah."
“晤。”
The hell he did, the bastard.
他問了才怪哩，這雜種！
"What'd she say?" I said. "Did you ask her if she still keeps all her kings in the back row?"
“她說了些什麽？”我說。“妳可曾問她下棋的時候是不是還把所有的國王都留在後排？”
"No, I didn't ask her. What the hell ya think we did all night--play checkers, for Chrissake?"
“沒有，我沒問她。妳他媽的以為我們整個晚上都在幹什麽——在下棋嗎，我的天？”
I didn't even answer him. God, how I hated him.
我甚至沒答理他。天哪，我有多恨他。
"If you didn't go to New York, where'd ya go with her?" I asked him, after a little while. I could hardly keep my voice from shaking all over the place. Boy, was I getting nervous. I just had a feeling something had gone funny.
“妳們要是沒上紐約，妳帶她上哪兒去啦？”過了壹會我問他說，說的時候禁不住聲音直打顫。嘿，我心裏真是不安得很。我只是感覺到有什麽不對頭的事發生了。
He was finished cutting his damn toenails. So he got up from the bed, in just his damn shorts and all, and started getting very damn playful. He came over to my bed and started leaning over me and taking these playful as hell socks at my shoulder. "Cut it out," I said. "Where'd you go with her if you didn't go to New York?"
他已經鉸完了他的混賬腳趾甲，所以他從床上起身，光穿著他媽的褲衩，就他媽的興致勃勃地跟我鬧著玩兒起來。他走到我床邊，俯在我身上，開始玩笑地拿拳頭打我的肩膀。“別鬧啦，”我說。“妳們要是沒上紐約，妳帶著她到底上哪啦？”
"Nowhere. We just sat in the goddam car." He gave me another one of those playtul stupid little socks on the shoulder.
“哪也沒去。我們就坐在他媽的汽車裏面。”他又玩笑地在我肩膀上輕輕打了壹拳。
"Cut it out," I said. "Whose car?"
“別鬧啦，”我說。“誰的汽車？”
"Ed Banky's."
“埃德.班基的。”
Ed Banky was the basketball coach at Pencey. Old Stradlater was one of his pets, because he was the center on the team, and Ed Banky always let him borrow his car when he wanted it. It wasn't allowed for students to borrow faculty guys' cars, but all the athletic bastards stuck together. In every school I've gone to, all the athletic bastards stick together.
埃德.班基是潘西的籃球教練。老斯特拉德萊塔在籃球隊裏打中鋒，是他的得意弟子之壹，所以斯特拉德萊塔每次借汽車，埃德.班基總是借給他。學生們本來是不準借用教職人員的汽車的，可是所有那些搞體育的雜種全都壹鼻孔出氣。我就讀的每個學校裏，所有那些搞體育的雜種全都壹鼻孔出氣。
Stradlater kept taking these shadow punches down at my shoulder. He had his toothbrush in his hand, and he put it in his mouth. "What'd you do?" I said. "Give her the time in Ed Banky's goddam car?" My voice was shaking something awful.
斯特拉德萊塔還壹個勁兒在我肩上練習拳擊。他本來用手拿著牙刷，現在卻把它叼在嘴裏。“妳幹了些什麽啦？”我說。“在埃德.班基的混帳汽車裏跟她幹那事兒啦？”我的聲音可真是抖得厲害。
"What a thing to say. Want me to wash your mouth out with soap?"
“妳說的什麽話。要我用肥皂把妳的嘴洗洗幹凈嗎？”
"Did you?"
“到底幹了沒有？”
"That's a professional secret, buddy."
“那可是職業性的秘密，老弟。”
This next part I don't remember so hot. All I know is I got up from the bed, like I was going down to the can or something, and then I tried to sock him, with all my might, right smack in the toothbrush, so it would split his goddam throat open. Only, I missed. I didn't connect. All I did was sort of get him on the side of the head or something. It probably hurt him a little bit, but not as much as I wanted. It probably would've hurt him a lot, but I did it with my right hand, and I can't make a good fist with that hand. On account of that injury I told you about.
底下情況，我記不得太清楚了。我只知道我從床上起來，好象要到盥洗室去似的，可我突然打了他壹拳，使盡了我全身的力氣，這壹拳本來想打在那把叼在他嘴裏的牙刷上，好讓那牙刷壹家夥戳穿他的混帳喉嚨，可惜我打偏了。我沒打中，只打在他的半邊腦袋上。我也許打得他有點兒疼，可並不疼得象我所希望的那麽厲害。我本來也許可以打得他很疼，可我是用右手打的，壹點也使不上勁兒。
Anyway, the next thing I knew, I was on the goddam floor and he was sitting on my chest, with his face all red. That is, he had his goddam knees on my chest, and he weighed about a ton. He had hold of my wrists, too, so I couldn't take another sock at him. I'd've killed him.
嗯，我記得的下壹件事，就是我已躺在混帳地板上了，他滿臉通紅地坐在我胸脯上。那就是說他用他媽的兩個膝蓋壓著我的胸脯，而他差不多有壹噸重。他兩手握住了我的手腕，所以我不能再揮拳打他，我真想壹拳把他打死。
"What the hell's the matter with you?" he kept saying, and his stupid race kept getting redder and redder.
“他媽的妳這是怎麽啦？”他不住地說，他的傻臉蛋越來越紅。
"Get your lousy knees off my chest," I told him. I was almost bawling. I really was. "Go on, get off a me, ya crumby bastard."
“把妳的臭膝蓋打我的胸上拿掉，”我對他說。我幾乎是在大聲呦喝。我的確是的。“滾，打我身上滾開，妳這個下流的雜種。”
He wouldn't do it, though. He kept holding onto my wrists and I kept calling him a sonuvabitch and all, for around ten hours. I can hardly even remember what all I said to him. I told him he thought he could give the time to anybody he felt like. I told him he didn't even care if a girl kept all her kings in the back row or not, and the reason he didn't care was because he was a goddam stupid moron. He hated it when you called a moron. All morons hate it when you call them a moron.
可他沒那麽做，依舊使勁握住我的手腕，我就壹個勁兒罵他雜種什麽的，這樣過了約莫十個鐘頭。我甚至記不起我都罵他些什麽了。我說他大概自以為要跟誰幹那事兒就可以幹。我說他甚至都不關心壹個姑娘在下棋時候是不是把她所有的國王都留在後排，而他所以不關心，是因為他是個傻極了的混帳窩囊廢。他最恨妳叫他窩囊廢。所有的窩囊廢都恨別人叫他們窩囊廢。
"Shut up, now, Holden," he said with his big stupid red face. "just shut up, now."
“住嘴，嘿，霍爾頓，”他說，他那又大又傻的臉漲得通紅。“給我住嘴，嘿。”
"You don't even know if her first name is Jane or Jean, ya goddam moron!"
“妳都不知道她的名字是琴還是瓊，妳這個混帳的窩囊廢！”
"Now, shut up, Holden, God damn it--I'm warning ya," he said--I really had him going. "If you don't shut up, I'm gonna slam ya one."
“嘿，住嘴，霍爾頓。真他媽的——我警告妳，”他說——我真把他氣壞了。“妳要是再不住嘴，我可要給妳壹巴掌了。”
"Get your dirty stinking moron knees off my chest."
“把妳那骯臟的、發臭的窩囊膝蓋打我的胸膛上拿掉。”
"If I letcha up, will you keep your mouth shut?"
“我要是放妳起來，妳能不能閉住妳的嘴？”
I didn't even answer him.
我甚至沒答理他。
He said it over again. "Holden. If I letcha up, willya keep your mouth shut?"
他又說了壹遍。“霍爾頓。我要是讓妳起來，妳能不能閉住妳的嘴？”
"Yes."
“好吧。”
He got up off me, and I got up, too. My chest hurt like hell from his dirty knees. "You're a dirty stupid sonuvabitch of a moron," I told him.
他從我身上起來，我也跟著站了起來。我的胸隔給他的兩個臭膝蓋壓得疼極了。“妳真是個婊子養的又贓又傻的窩囊廢，”我對他說。
That got him really mad. He shook his big stupid finger in my face. "Holden, God damn it, I'm warning you, now. For the last time. If you don't keep your yap shut, I'm gonna--"
這真把他氣瘋了。他把他的壹只又粗又笨的指頭伸到我臉上指劃著。“霍爾頓，真他媽的，我再警告妳壹次。也是最後壹次。妳要是再不閉住妳的臭嘴，我可要——”
"Why should I?" I said--I was practically yelling. "That's just the trouble with all you morons. You never want to discuss anything. That's the way you can always tell a moron. They never want to discuss anything intellig--"
“我幹嗎要閉住？”我說——我簡直在大聲喊叫了。“妳們這些窩囊廢就是這個毛病。妳們從來不肯討論問題。從這壹點上就可以看出妳是不是壹個窩囊廢。他們從來不肯討論壹些聰明的——”
Then he really let one go at me, and the next thing I knew I was on the goddam floor again. I don't remember if he knocked me out or not, but I don't think so. It's pretty hard to knock a guy out, except in the goddam movies. But my nose was bleeding all over the place. When I looked up old Stradlater was standing practically right on top of me. He had his goddam toilet kit under his arm. "Why the hell don'tcha shut up when I tellya to?" he said. He sounded pretty nervous. He probably was scared he'd fractured my skull or something when I hit the floor. It's too bad I didn't. "You asked for it, God damn it," he said. Boy, did he look worried.
我的話沒說完，他真的給了我壹下子，我只記得緊接著我又躺在混帳的地板上了。我記不起他有沒有把我打昏過去，我想大概沒有。要把壹個人打昏過去並不那麽容易，除非是在那些混帳電影裏。可我的鼻子上已全是血。我擡頭壹望，看見老斯特拉德萊塔簡直就站在我身上。他還把他那套混帳的梳妝用具夾在胳肢窩底下。“我叫妳住嘴，妳他媽的幹嗎不聽？”他說話的口氣好象很緊張。我壹下子倒在地板上，他也許是害怕已把我的腦袋瓜兒打碎了什麽的。真倒黴，我的腦袋瓜兒怎麽不碎呢。“妳這是自找的，真他媽的，”他說。嘿，瞧他的樣子倒真有點害怕了。
I didn't even bother to get up. I just lay there in the floor for a while, and kept calling him a moron sonuvabitch. I was so mad, I was practically bawling.
我甚至不打算站起來，就那麽在地板上躺了壹會兒，不住口地罵他是婊子養的窩囊廢。我都氣瘋了，簡直在破口大罵。
"Listen. Go wash your face," Stradlater said. "Ya hear me?"
“聽著。快去洗壹下臉，”斯特拉德萊塔說。“妳聽見了沒有？”
I told him to go wash his own moron face--which was a pretty childish thing to say, but I was mad as hell. I told him to stop off on the way to the can and give Mrs. Schmidt the time. Mrs. Schmidt was the janitor's wife. She was around sixty-five.
我叫他去洗他自己的窩囊臉——這話當然很孩子氣，可我確實氣瘋了。我叫他到盥洗室去的半路上最好順便拐個彎，跟席密德太太幹那事去。席密德太太是看門人的妻子，大約六十五歲了。
I kept sitting there on the floor till I heard old Stradlater close the door and go down the corridor to the can. Then I got up. I couldn't find my goddam hunting hat anywhere. Finally I found it. It was under the bed. I put it on, and turned the old peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I went over and took a look at my stupid face in the mirror. You never saw such gore in your life. I had blood all over my mouth and chin and even on my pajamas and bath robe. It partly scared me and it partly fascinated me. All that blood and all sort of made me look tough. I'd only been in about two fights in my life, and I lost both of them. I'm not too tough. I'm a pacifist, if you want to know the truth.
我坐在地板上不動，直到聽見老斯特拉德萊塔關上門，沿著走廊向盥洗室走去，我才站起來。我哪兒也找不到我那頂混帳獵人帽了。最後才在床底下找到。我戴上帽子，把鴨舌轉到腦後，我就喜歡這麽戴，然後過去照鏡子，瞧瞧我自己的笨臉蛋。妳這壹輩子再也沒見過那樣的血汙。我的嘴上、腮幫上甚至睡衣上和浴衣上全都是血。我有點兒害怕，也有點兒神往。這壹片血汙倒讓我看上去很象個好漢。我這壹輩子只打過兩次架，兩次我都打輸了。我算不了好漢。我是個和平主義者，我老實跟妳說。
I had a feeling old Ackley'd probably heard all the racket and was awake. So I went through the shower curtains into his room, just to see what the hell he was doing. I hardly ever went over to his room. It always had a funny stink in it, because he was so crumby in his personal habits.
我依稀覺得老阿克萊聽見我們爭吵，這時正醒著。所以我掀開淋浴室門簾走進他的房間，看看他在做什麽。我很少進他的房間。他的房內老是有壹股奇怪的臭氣，因為他這個人的私生活實在邋遢極了。