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幽默英語笑話帶中文

幽默英語笑話帶中文

 會講笑話的人都是有幽默感的人,有幽默感的人患上抑郁癥的可能性就大為減少,接下來壹起來看看幽默英語笑話帶中文,看看妳的幽默指數吧!

幽默英語笑話帶中文壹:跳板

 The cruise ship my friend was working on docked(停駐) at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank(跳板,踏板) as a passageway to the dock far below.The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70s appear at the top of the plank(厚木板,支架) . There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now."

幽默英語笑話帶中文二:I work for 7up"!我可是在七喜公司工作呀

 Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies.The nurse comes up to the first man and says,"Congratulations,you got twins." The man said "How strange,I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says,"Congratulations,you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm,strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally,the nurse comes up to the third man and says

 "Congratulations,you got twins x2." Man is happy and says,"Ironic,I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place,cursing God and banging his head on the wall.They asked him what's wrong and he answered,"What's wrong?I work for 7up"!

 四個好朋友在醫院裏碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第壹個男人說:"恭喜,妳得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了壹會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,妳得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最後,護士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,妳得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興,但第四個夥伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝並用頭撞墻.他們問他有什麽不對勁,他回答道:"什麽不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"

幽默英語笑話帶中文三:蛋糕

 Dick was seven years old,and his sister,Catherine,was five.One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

 The children played for an hour,and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him,"Now here's a knife,Dick.Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister,but remember to do it like a gentleman."

 "Like a gentleman?" Dick asked."How do gentlemen do it?"

 "They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.

 "Oh" said Dick.He thought about this for a few seconds.Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half,Catherine.".

 迪克年齡七歲,他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲.壹天,媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩,自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服.

 孩子們玩了個把小時,在四點半的.時候,姨媽領著迪克走進了廚房.她交給迪克壹塊精美的蛋糕和壹把刀子,並對他說:?喏,迪克,給妳刀子,把這塊蛋糕壹切為二,給妳妹妹壹塊.不過,妳得記住要做得像壹個紳士那樣.?

 迪克問:?像壹個紳士?紳士怎樣做呢?

 他姨媽馬上回答說:?紳士總是把大的壹塊讓給別人的.?

 迪克說了壹聲?噢?.他對此想了壹會,然後,他把蛋糕拿給妹妹,並對她說:?凱瑟琳,妳來把這塊蛋糕壹切為二吧.?

幽默英語笑話帶中文四:

 Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?"

 兩個人去獵鹿。第壹個人說:?妳看見了麽?

 "No," the second guy says.

 ?沒有。?第二個人說。

 "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.

 ?好吧,壹只禿鷹剛剛從我們頭頂飛過。?第壹個人說。

 "Oh," says the second guy.

 ?哦。?

 A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?"

 幾分鐘以後,第壹個人說:?妳看見了麽?

 "See what?" the second guy asks.

 ?看見什麽?第二個人問。

 "Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."

 ?妳瞎了麽?壹只大黑熊在山上跑呢,就那兒!?

 "Oh."

 ?哦。?

 A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"

 幾分鐘後第壹個人又說;?妳看見了麽?

 By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"

 這個時候,第二個人已經不耐煩了,所以他說;?是的,我看見啦!?

 And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

 第壹個人說;?那妳還往上踩?

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