Text(正文):
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
可是老師哭了
六歲的約翰嬌生慣養。他的父親知道這壹點，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什麽不是哭，就是鬧。他第壹天上學才離開祖母的懷抱。
約翰放學了，他奶奶在門口接他並問道：“學校怎麽樣？妳過的好嗎？哭了沒有？”
“哭？”約翰問，“不，我沒哭，可老師哭了。”
2 Which woman?哪壹位女人？
Text(正文):
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the
most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
哪壹位女人？
壹天晚上我開著丈夫的車去購物，
回來後發現車身沾滿灰塵，於是擦洗了壹陣。當我終於走進屋裏時大聲喊：“世界上最愛妳的女人剛擦洗了妳的車燈和擋風玻璃。”
我丈夫擡頭看了看，說：“媽媽來了？
3 The doctor lives downstairs醫生住在樓下
Text(正文):
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
醫生住在樓下
“醫生”她沖進屋後大聲說道。
“我想讓妳坦率地說我到底得了什麽病。”
他從頭到腳打量打量她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對妳說。第壹，您的體重需要減少大約50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之壹的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是壹位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”
4 One Engine Left只剩壹個引擎
Text(正文):
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r
esult."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
只剩壹個引擎
壹架747客機正在跨越大西洋時，喇叭裏傳來了機長的聲音：“旅客們請註意，我們的四個引擎中有壹個丟失了。但剩下的三個引擎會把我們帶到倫敦的。只是我們要因此晚到壹小時 。” 過了壹會兒，旅客們又聽到機長的聲音：“各位，妳們猜怎麽啦 ？我們剛又掉了第三個引擎。但請妳們相信好了。只有壹個引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個小時了。” 正在這時，壹位乘客非常氣憤地說：“看在上帝的份上，如果我們再掉壹個引擎，我們就要整夜都要呆在天上了。"
5 Logic Reasoning邏輯推理
Text(正文):
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
邏輯推理
小學四年級的教師正在給學生們上壹堂邏輯課。她舉了這麽壹個例子：“有這樣壹種情況，壹個男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進了水裏。於是他開始掙紮並喊救命。他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他並不會遊泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什麽？” 壹個女生舉手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
[註]bank在英語中除了我們平時很熟悉的“銀行”之外，還有“河岸”的意思。
6 Where is the father?父親在哪兒？
Text(正文):
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒？
兄弟倆在看壹些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”
哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
7 dating約會
Text(正文):
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
約會
在湯姆工作的大樓裏有壹個咖啡屋，那兒總有壹位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因為這位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。壹天她又對湯姆招手並示意湯姆過去。於是湯姆走了過去。她問道，“您現在是單身嗎？” “對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。 “我母親也是，”她說，“您願不願意見見她？”
8 Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?" 安眠藥 鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫生，醫生給他開了壹些強力安眠藥。 星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床壹點麻煩都沒有。” “好啊!”老板吼道，“那妳星期壹和星期二到哪兒去了？”
9 Creative Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job. I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed. 創造性 第壹次求職時，我意識到在列舉我所具備的為數不多的條件時，得有點創造性。當問及我是否受過其它的培訓時，我老實地回答說我花了三年時間學計算機程序設計課。我得到了那份工作。 我沒有提到那門功課我重復學了三年才考及格。
10 Talking clock 會說話的鐘
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
壹個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個大銅鑼和錘子是幹什麽用的？”他的壹個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是壹個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。“這鐘怎麽工作的”，他的朋友問。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前壹把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了壹下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，妳這白癡！現在是淩晨兩點鐘了！”
11 Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?" 兩個獵人進森林裏打獵，其中壹個獵人不慎跌倒，兩眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另壹個獵人趕緊拿出手機撥通緊急求助電話。接線員沈著地說：“第壹步，要先確定妳的朋友已經死亡。”於是，接線員在電話裏聽到壹聲槍響，然後聽到那獵人接著問：“第二步怎辦？”
12 There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That’s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don’t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him ‘The Boss.’” 老板最大 有個人到壹間商店買鸚鵡。店裏有三只鸚鵡，其中壹只賣五千元，另壹只賣壹萬元，還有壹只賣三萬元。顧客問老板：「為什麽這只要賣五千元？這個價錢對這種鸚鵡來說太貴了！」老板說：「因為我有訓練他講話。」顧客又問：「那這只呢？他會做什麽？為什麽要賣這麽貴？」老板說：「他除了會說話之外，還會表演壹些有趣的動作，好比說跳舞等等，所以才賣這麽貴。」顧客接著又問：「那第三只呢？他會做什麽？為什麽要賣這麽貴？」老板說：「我不知道。我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌，也沒看過他跳舞，什麽都沒有！不過另外兩只叫他：『老板！』」
13 “I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！為什麽？不是說好只要4美元。” “是的，但是妳的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。”
14 I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，妳為什麽用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了嗎？” “沒有，老師。可是妳昨天說妳告訴我的知識都是壹個耳朵裏進，壹個耳朵裏出，所以我要把它堵在裏面。”
15 In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部壹個大城市的交通法庭裏，壹位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由於開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是壹名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過壹絲狡黠，說道：“妳是學校的老師，對嗎？女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的願望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。