精彩對白：
Bridget: . Maybe not.
Bridget: . Wish I could be at home with my head in a toilet like all normal people...
Bridget: ... ah! New Year's Resolution: drink less... and quit smoking... and quit talking nonsense to total strangers... hehe... ahh...
Bridget: ...all over your face?
Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and... ah, the verbal diarhea.
Bridget: Ah, no. Just came from a New Year party, and I'm a bit hung over.
Bridget: Ah, Perpetua. This is Mark Darcy. Mark is a top barrister. Comes from Garth and Underwood. Perpetua is one my work colleagues.
Bridget: and-and you should really re-think the length of your side burns. But... I still, like you, just the way you are.
Bridget: Apparently, I used to run round naked in his paddling pool.
Bridget: Are you staying at your parents', then?
Bridget: Blue?
Bridget: Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Dad... Hi.
Bridget: But he did shag Daniel's fiancée and left him broken-hearted.
Bridget: Bye mum.
Bridget: Daniel, what you just did is actually illegal in several countries.
Bridget: Did I really run round your lawn naked?
Bridget: Fitzherbert. Because... that is his name.
Bridget: Have bottom size of Brazil
Bridget: Here is the man we like to call Mr., uh,
Bridget: How's it look?
Bridget: I choose Vodka. And Chaka Khan.
Bridget: I owe you an apology about Daniel. He said you ran off with his fiancée and left him brokenhearted.
Bridget: I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. Well, I meant it, but I was so stupid... After all, it's only a diary. Everyone knows diaries are just... full of crap.
Bridget: I've got to leave my job because I shagged my boss.
Bridget: It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.
Bridget: It wasn't French kissing.
Bridget: It's a blip. Latin music's on its way out.
Bridget: Jesus. Fuck.
Bridget: Maybe not.
Bridget: My mum, a strange creature from the time when pickles on toothpicks were still the height of sophistication.
Bridget: No.
Bridget: No...
Bridget: Now, I'll go home and... de-bunny.
Bridget: Perhaps this is the mysterious Mr. Right I have been waiting my whole life to meet.
Bridget: Resolution #1: uggg - will obviously loose 20 lbs. #2: always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.
Bridget: So what do you think of the situation in Chechnya?
Bridget: Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse.
Bridget: That's not a good enough offer for me.
Bridget: The only thing worse than smug married couple, lots of smug married couples.
Bridget: This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.
Bridget: Titspervert. Titspervert.
Bridget: Ugh.
Bridget: Um, not.
Bridget: Wait a minute... nice boys don't kiss like that.
Bridget: Well, that's a pretty big age difference. It's quite pervy really.
Bridget: What are we going to do about this dinner, then?
Bridget: When you said, that you liked me, for just the way I am... *sighs* I just wanted to say, that I like you, too, just the way you are. I mean you manage to say all the wrong things and you wear all of your mother's gifts, tonight... is another classic
Bridget: Yes, yes, I hate him.
Bridget: You once said you liked me just as I am and I just wanted to say likewise. I mean there are stupid things your mum buys you, tonight's another... classic. You're haughty, and you always say the wrong thing in every situation and I seriously believe that you should rethink the length of your sideburns. But, you're a nice man and I like you. If you wanted to pop by some time that might be nice... more than nice.
Bridget: [as Una Alconberry] No, Pam. Besides the gravy needs siving.
Bridget: [rummaging through her fridge] Where the fuck's the fucking tuna?
Bridget: [to carolers] Bugger off.
Bridget: [to Cosmo and Woney] Tell me is it one in four marriages that end in divorce these days or one in three?
Bridget: [to herself] Ah. Introduce people with thoughtful details. Perpetua, this is Mark Darcy. Mark is a prematurely middle-aged prick with a cruel raced ex-wife. Perpetua is a fat-ass old bag who spends her time bossing me around.
Daniel Cleaver: (Half laughing)I'm sorry? Outside? Should I bring my dueling pistols or my sword?
Daniel Cleaver: / There once was a woman from Ealing, / Who had a particular feeling. / She lay on her back, / And opened her crack, / And pissed all over the ceiling.
Daniel Cleaver: Come on Bridget, we belong together - you, me, your little skirt. If I can't make it with you then I can't make it with anyone.
Daniel Cleaver: Don't care, make it up. That's an order, Jones.
Daniel Cleaver: Done what?
Daniel Cleaver: Fuck me, I love Keats.
Daniel Cleaver: I bet you did, you dirty bitch.
Daniel Cleaver: I couldn't give a fuck Jones.
Daniel Cleaver: I'm sorry, I have to have another look. They're too good to be true.
Daniel Cleaver: I've been going crazy. I can't stop thinking about you, and thinking about what an idiot I've been. Christ, is that blue soup?
Daniel Cleaver: No, no. Don't apologize. I like them. Hello, Mummy.
Daniel Cleaver: Now these are very silly little boots, Jones. And this is a very silly little dress. And, um, these are, fuck me, absolutely enormous panties.
Daniel Cleaver: OK, tell me more about practicing French kissing with the art girls at school.
Daniel Cleaver: Ow. Fuck me, that really hurt. What the fuck do you think you're doing?
Daniel Cleaver: That is one of the reasons that I'm so happy to be living in Britain today.
Daniel Cleaver: They're nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm wearing something similar myself.
Daniel Cleaver: [to Mark Darcy] My, what a gripping life you do lead.
Interviewer: What do you think about the El Nino phenomenon?
Jude: Just as you are? Not thinner? Not cleverer? Not with slightly bigger breasts or slightly smaller nose?
Julian: [to his manicurist] Careful, you ham-fisted cow.
Lara: [to Daniel, about Bridget] Honey, I thought you said she was thin.
Mark Darcy: Alright Cleaver, outside.
Mark Darcy: I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much.'
Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.
Mark Darcy: I realize that when I met you at the turkey curry buffet, I was unforgivably rude, and wearing a reindeer jumper.
Mark Darcy: I should have done this years ago.
Mark Darcy: Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney and dresses like her mother.
Mark Darcy: Natasha, this is Bridget Jones. Bridget works in a publishing house and she used to play around naked in my paddling pool.
Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.
Mark Darcy: No, it was the other way around. My wife. My heart.
Mark Darcy: Oh, yes, they fucking do.
Mark Darcy: Oh, yes. You were four and I was eight.
Mark Darcy: One in three
Mark Darcy: Right, crikey.
Mark Darcy: This.
Mark Darcy: Yes, I know that. I was just buying you a new one.
Mark Darcy: Yes, I like to think so.
Mark Darcy: Yes. Well. Perhaps it's time to eat.
Mark Darcy: Yes. You?
Mark Darcy: [about Bridget's attempt at caper berry gravy] I have to say, this really is the most incredible shit.
Mark Darcy: [as Pamela Jones] Surely not, just stir it Una.
Mark: No, but, blue is good. If you ask me there isn't enough blue food.
Mark: Uh, great. It's, um, blue.
Mark: We have blue soup to start, orange pudding to end, and, well, for a main course you have, uh, congealed green gunge.
Mr. Darcy: I like a woman with an arse you can park a bike in and balance a pint of beer on.
Natasha: Bizarre what some men find attractive
Natasha: So how autobiographical is your work, Salman?
Pam Jones: (as demonstrator at shopping mall) Yes... Now how many of you "have it oeuff"... have it oeuff... it's French... All you do is put the egg in here like this... and... up, down, up, down (demonstrating)... and voila! Ooh, mind the yoke spray, dear.
Pam Jones: Up close, he was almost purple.
Pam Jones: [to Bridget on 'phone] I must say the sex is still quite surprising. Do you know just the other day I was just dozing off and I felt this huge...
Pam Jones: [to Bridget] Frankly darling, if I had the chance again I wouldn't have had children.
Perpetua: Anyone going to introduce me?
Richard Finch: Fair enough. Start on Monday.
Richard Finch: Neville, what the fuck is going on? She's supposed to be sliding down the fireman's pole, not climbing up it.
Richard Finch: Why do you wanna work on television?
Salman Rushdie: You know its an amazing thing, nobody has ever asked me that question. You know its an amazing thing, nobody has ever asked me that question.
Shazzer: Introduce people with thoughtful details. Such as: "Sheila, this is Daniel. Daniel, this is Sheila. Sheila enjoys horse-riding and comes from New Zealand. Daniel enjoys publishing and comes..."
Shazzer: Look, are you coming to fucking Paris or not?
Shazzer: Mark's of course. He never dumped Bridget for some naked American.
Shazzer: No fucking room, anyway.
Shazzer: Well, fuck me.
Tom: Come the fuck on, Bridget.
Tom: FIGHT. Come on then, it's a real live fight.
Tom: This is someone you hate right?
Tom: Well done Bridge, 4 hours of careful cooking and a feast of blue soup, omelette and marmalade.
Tom: Whose side are we on?
Tom: You're right, it's a tough one to call.
[answering phone]
[awkward silence]
[Bridget glimpses Mark for the first time]
[bursting into a Greek restaurant]
[Cinema release]
[Darcy punches Cleaver again. Even harder]
[Darcy punches Cleaver. Hard]
[DVD release]
[From the trailer]
[From the UK release]
[gesturing to the snowman tie]
[imitating her line on TV]
[nervous laugh]
[On Bridget]
[pause]
[regarding the blue soup]
[replaces receiver]
[they kiss]
[to audience]
[to herself]
[to Mark]
[Views reindeer sweater]