在BAD真棒之旅美國巡演紐約MSG那兩場，MJ邀請她作嘉賓表演，MJ的經紀人說她除了KISS什麽都可以做，第壹晚她吻了MJ臉頰，MJ沒反對，第二晚她吻上了嘴唇。之後就被MJ的經紀人辭掉了。MJ對此沒做任何評論。
Tatiana認為MJ是喜歡她的，我也覺得他們很相配，可能當時MJ壹心都在事業上，所以沒太重視愛情。
拍攝the way you make me feel
Hollywood, 1987 A Turning Point; The Michael Jackson Girl
In 1987 I signed with a new agency, Joseph, Heldfond and Rix, at the time a fairly powerful group. Julie, my agent, sent me on an audition for a Michael Jackson video, The Way You Make Me Feel. I wasn't told, though, whose video this was for. But I discovered later that two hundred other hopeful young actresses tested for that part.
87年去參加the way you make me feel的試鏡,但並不知道是誰的mv 壹起參加試鏡的還有兩百多個年輕女演員
When they called me, I was told to walk and show some attitude. The scene took place on a street in a rough area. A bunch of guys start hassling the character I was reading for, taunting her with lines like. Hey baby, what's up?
Coincidentally, the very same thing had happened to me as I was on my way to the audition. Some guys had hassled me on the street, so you might say I was prepared. I ran through the scene a few times, and my audition was put on videotape.
第壹次試鏡是在街上走走擺擺姿勢,試鏡情況被錄了下來
A few days later I was summoned to a small dress rehearsal. It was the first time I learned that the video was with Michael Jackson. I was brought into a room by the video's choreographer, Vince Patterson. Michael was there but I was too shy to even look at him at first. Patterson directed me to go through some moves, which I followed perfectly. Finally I glanced up at Michael. He was sitting there in a red shirt, bopping to the music with this big, happy grin on his face. I saw him turn to the person next to him and say something. I later found out from David Banks, one of the video's writers, that Michael had said, She's the one. The rest are extras.
幾天後我被叫去參加小型彩排,那時我才知道是michael的mv,我被帶到了壹間房間,michael也在，不過壹開始我壓根沒好意思朝他看。舞蹈指導演示了壹些舞步，我都完成的很好。最後我才瞥向michael，他穿了件紅襯衫坐在那裏，跟著音樂打著節奏，臉上帶著快樂的神情咧著嘴笑著。只見他轉向身旁的人說了些什麽，後來從其他人口中才得知他說的是“就是她了”
I will never forget when my agent called to tell me that I had the job. I screamed so loud that all of Hollywood must have heard me. It was such a milestone accomplishment for me. I felt like I had finally made it, and my career would soon be taking off.
永遠忘不了經紀人告訴我得到那份工作的情景，恐怕整個好萊塢都能聽到我的叫聲了。這對我來說是壹個裏程碑性的成就，我覺得我終於做到了，而且我的事業也將很快會騰飛。
The shoot lasted five days, with the fifth day devoted to outtakes and close-ups of me. By the second day the ice was broken between Michael and me. It happened in the middle of a scene where was chasing me, and I was supposed to run through a broken-down, beat-up car in the middle of a street. My dress was so tight that in order to cross to the other side of the car to get out, I had to turn around. During one take, in the process of turning, my high-heeled boot got caught in the upholstery, and I couldn't get it out. Michael put his hand on my calf and then on my upper thigh to help pull me out. I got a little overheated, I guess, and lost it. I fell out of the car, landing on my butt. We both cracked up as he wiped my butt off. Then we looked into each other's eyes for a moment. After that a warm and friendly connection started to develop between the two of us...
拍攝進行了五天，第二天michael和我打破了沈默。那是在他追我的那個場景中間，我要跑著穿過街上的壹輛汽車。衣服太緊了，要穿過汽車從另壹邊出來，我不得不將身體轉過來。壹次在轉身過程中，我的高跟靴卡在了車裏。michael將他的手放在我的小腿 然後是大腿上，好把我拽出來。我頓時有些全身發熱，而且我想有些不知所措了。我從汽車中摔了出來，跌坐在地上。當他幫我拍掉屁股上的土時，我們兩個都笑了起來，然後互相註視了壹段時間。在那之後，我們之間開始了友好而熱烈的關系……
As we waited around on the set in the days after that scene, Michael began asking me questions about my life. A few times he was a little flirtatious, like when he told me I had an incredible walk. I said, Well, it's just a walk. He looked at me and smiled. No, you have a very sexy walk.
那以後拍攝間歇,michael開始問我壹些生活上的問題，有幾次幾乎是挑逗性的，比如他說我走路的姿勢很不可思議，我答道不過是走路罷了，他看著我笑著說“不，妳走路的姿勢很性感”
Not long after the video production was over, Michael's stand-in, Craig, who had become a friend of mine, called and said, You know, Michael talks about you all the time. He asks me how you are and told me to tell you hello. I think he really likes you. He says stuff like how incredibly beautiful you are and how sweet you are.
拍攝結束後不久，Craig給我打電話說“知道麽，michael總是提起妳，他問我妳是什麽樣的人並讓我向妳問好。我想他真是喜歡上妳了。他說妳是如何如何漂亮又如何如何可愛。”
Craig suggested that I come by and visit the set of another video Michael was shooting. I thought it was a great idea, so Craig asked Michael, and a few days later I was invited to drop by the set. It was fun being there and seeing Michael again. He showed me around the set, and then I watched the filming and had something to eat with him and his manager in his trailer. At the end of the day I realized I didn't have a ride home. Still a recent transplant from New York, I didn't drive yet. The cab to the studio had cost more than I had expected, and I didn't have enough cash for a cab home. Craig pushed me to ask Michael for a ride.
Craig建議我去michael拍另壹個mv的現場去探班，我覺得這主意不錯，於是他跟michael說起，幾天後我就被邀請到了拍攝現場。能再見到michael真是太好了，他領我參觀了拍攝場景，然後我看著他工作，與他和他的經理人壹起吃了東西。最後我意識到自己沒車回家了。那時我剛從紐約搬來，還沒開車，來時坐計程車花的錢比我預計要多，我的現金已經不夠再坐車回去了，Craig要我找michael搭車。
Too shy to go to Michael directly, I explained my situation to Miko Brando, Marlon Brando's son and Michael's right-hand man, and asked if he could lend me a few bucks or give me a ride. Miko offered to check it out with Michael but thought it would be no problem to give me a ride in the limo. A few minutes later I was on my way home, sitting next to Michael in his black stretch Mercedes, which Miko was driving. At first Michael seemed nervous and jittery like a kid. We talked a lot, mostly about our families. At one point we were sort of holding hands. When he dropped me off, I thanked him and said I hoped to see him again.
He said, Oh, you will.
不好意思直接找michael, 我跟miko（馬龍白蘭度的兒子，也是michael的得力助手）說了我的情況，問他是否可以借我點兒錢或者載我回家。miko說問問michael，幾分鐘後我就搭上michael的車走在回家的路上了。miko開著michael的黑色奔馳，而我就坐在michael旁邊。起初michael看起來像個小孩似的神經緊張戰戰兢兢。我們聊了很多，大部分是關於各自的家庭，有壹度我們的手幾乎握在了壹起。下車時我向他道謝，說希望能再見到他。他說“哦，當然會的。”
Shortly after that I was hired to go on Michael's Bad tour to perform the sketch from the video live in Kansas City and New York. If it worked out, there were to be more appearances in other cities on the tour. Naturally I was thrilled to be working with M.J. again.
不久我就加入michael在堪薩斯和紐約的bad巡演，如果壹切順利的話，還會參加更多城市的巡演，自然對能和mj壹起工作我是激動不已。
We did the Kansas City shows and then arrived in New York where we had three dates at Madison Square Garden. I had an idea for the end of the performance that I thought would improve the piece. After Michael's hot, intense pursuit of the girl I played, all he did at the end was give me a hug. It was kind of a letdown for the audience. People would come up to me and say, If Michael is so much in love with this girl, why does he just give her a hug at the end? (that's what 1 of my friends said! )
結束堪薩斯的演出後來到紐約，我們在麥迪遜花園廣場約會了三次。我對演出結尾部分有些改進意見，原本在最後michael只是擁抱我壹下，這對觀眾來說會有些失望。人們會跟我說“如果michael那麽愛那個女孩兒，為什麽他在結尾只是擁抱她呢？” （那是我壹個朋友說的）
I wanted to discuss this problem with Michael and ask him if it would be all right to give him a kiss instead of just the hug at the end. But during the busy tour I was not able to see him or speak to him except when we were actually onstage performing. So on the second night of the performance, at the end of the hug, I reached up and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. The crowd went ballistic, Michael seemed surprised, but he smiled. Afterward nothing was said by any of his handlers except the usual Great show.
我想跟michael談談這個問題問問他最後是不是可以吻他壹下而不是僅僅擁抱。但繁忙的巡演中我壓根見不到michael或和他說話，除非是真正在臺上表演。於是在演出的第二晚，在擁抱後我在他臉頰上親了壹下，觀眾瘋狂了起來，michael有些驚訝，但他還是笑了。過後他的經理人什麽都沒說，除了照例的“演出很棒”
The next day was the last day I was scheduled to perform, and I called Michael's secretary to ask her if I could talk to him. She gave me his number but told me not to keep him on the phone for too long because he was very tired. I reached him and thanked him for giving me the opportunity to work with him. I also said that I hoped my little kiss did not throw him off.
Michael assured me that the kiss was okay. Can I take it a step further tonight? I asked him. Yeah, that would be great. He said. I thanked him again and hung up.
第二天是我預計表演中的最後壹天，我打電話給michael的秘書問她是不是能和michael談話。她告訴我他的號碼，但跟我說他很累了，別和他打太久。我撥通電話感謝他給我機會與他壹起工作，說希望我的吻沒讓他覺得發窘。michael壹再跟我說那個吻沒什麽。“那我今晚能再進壹步嗎？”我問他，他說“好啊，那肯定好極了。”再次感謝後我掛了電話。
I was very nervous that final night as I got onstage. I kept questioning whether or not I should really kiss him. I knew the crowd would love it. But I was also under the impression, both from my time with Michael and from what others in the production company had told me, that Michael had a crush on me. I had sensed it from our eye contact, from gestures, from hugs, from sweet little things he said or did.
那最後壹晚上臺時我緊張極了，壹再問自己是不是真的要吻他。我知道觀眾的反應會很熱烈，但我同時也覺得michael可能愛上我了，不管從我們在壹起的時候還是從制作公司其他人的口中都給我這個感覺。我從我們的對視的眼神，姿勢、擁抱和他說的做的壹切甜蜜的小事中感覺到了我們之間的情愫。
We got to the end of the act, and I was standing in front of him. My hands were on his collar and I was looking right into his eyes. He had this very sexy look on his face. He bit his lip. I pulled myself forward, toward him, and he put both of his hands on my hips. We embraced, and then kissed each other full on the lips. The crowd freaked out. I pranced off the stage, and Michael went on singing and laughing, entertaining with more life in his voice than I had ever heard before.
到了表演的最後，我站在他跟前，手放在michael領子上，深深的直視著他的眼睛。他咬著嘴唇，臉上是極度性感的表情（可以想象啊 口水止不住了……）我向前靠近他 他把兩手放在我的臀部，我們擁抱，而後親吻，深深的吻在唇上。觀眾瘋狂了，我大步走下舞臺，michael繼續唱歌，大聲笑著繼續演出，聲音中是以往我從未聽到過的激情。
When I got backstage, all of the dancers congratulated me on how great the show was and how happy Michael seemed to be. I loved the wonderful response to the show. But for me it was more than just a performance. I really liked him, and I knew that he liked me, too. I felt there was something there between us.
回到後臺後，所有的舞蹈演員都祝賀我說演出有多成功michael看上去有多高興。但對我來說這不僅僅是場表演。我是真的喜歡他，並且我知道他也喜歡我，我能感覺到我們之間的化學反應
When we got back to the hotel, John Draper, the tour manager,(wasn't he tour manager 4 Madonna's Blond Ambition Tour as well? They work with all the same people!) came up to me, and I went with him to take care of my hotel bill. While we were standing at the registration desk, Miko Brando came out of nowhere and stared screaming at me at the top of his lungs. How ****ing dare you do that to Michael? he yelled. You bitch, you ****ing bitch, what were you doing? How can you take advantage of him like that in front of all those people? He went on and on, obviously having no idea that Michael and I had talked beforehand. It seemed so off the wall.
回到賓館後，巡演的經理人John Draper（也是麥當娜巡演的經理人）來找我，我和他壹起去處理我賓館的帳務。就在我們站在賓館前臺時，miko不知從哪兒蹦出來開始用盡全力沖我大聲呵斥“妳怎麽敢那麽對michael?，妳這個不知羞恥的，妳這個婊子，妳幹什麽了？妳怎麽能在那麽多人面前那樣占他便宜？”他不停地罵著，顯然不知道michael和我事先曾談過。這看起來太瘋狂了。
Then Michael's manager, Frank Dileo, walked past. After every prior show, Frank would tap me on the shoulder and tell me how great I was. That night he didn't say a word but instead gave me the most evil look I have ever seen.
Frank Dileo，michael的經理人走了過去，在以前的每次演出後，他都會在肩膀上拍拍我告訴我我的演出很棒，那天晚上他壹句話也沒說，而是狠狠的瞪了我，那是我見過最惡毒的眼神。
To this day I have no idea what I did that was so terrible, but that was the end of the tour for me. I was not asked back when the Bad tour went on to several cities. Sheryl Crow took my place.
直到今天我還是不知道自己做錯了什麽，但就從那時起巡演對我來說結束了，bad巡演繼續到其他城市時我沒被邀請，Sheryl Crow取代了我的位置。
I went home and cried incredibly hard, over both the lost opportunity and over losing Michael. His mother, Katherine, was also puzzled by what happened. She later invited me several times to the Jackson compound in Encino and we talked at length. She told me that when we were shooting the video, Michael had asked her what he should do with me. He had told her how much he liked me and that he had feeling for me. She had told him to express himself, to tell me about his feelings.
我回到家哭得天昏地暗，為我所失去的機會，也為失去了michael。他的母親katherine也驚訝於所發生的壹切。之後她幾次邀請我來到傑克遜Encino的家中作客，深入的進行了談話。她對我說當我們拍攝錄影帶時，michael問過她該怎麽對我。他告訴母親他有多喜歡我，說對我有感覺。她讓他對我表白，告訴我他的感覺。
He never did tell me anything of the kind, although several others in his camp - bodyguards, secretaries, and writers - had let me know. The only explanation I could fathom was that Michael's top managers must have seen me as a threat. The Bad tour was one of the most successful promotions of his career, and the people working for him did not want anything to mess it up, especially a relationship with some girl they hardly knew.
他卻從沒跟我說過類似的話，雖然為他工作的其他人--保鏢秘書作者都曾告訴過我。我能想到的唯壹解釋就是michael的經濟人們壹定是將我視為壹個威脅。bad巡演是他事業上最為成功的壹次，為他工作的人不希望有任何事將它搞砸，特別是和他們幾乎不認識的某個女孩兒的羅曼史。
Perhaps they thought of me as someone who, like a crazed fan, imagined herself being lovers with the superstar. Michael had done a music video of Dirty Diana with a similar storyline. To me, however, the feelings between us had always seemed very mutual. I felt a bond with him. Maybe it was because he, too, seemed to want to think of the world as color blind.
也許他們認為我就像某個瘋狂歌迷，幻想自己與超級巨星陷入愛河，就像michael的mv“dirty diana中描述的那樣。然而對我來說，我們之間的感情似乎總是相互的。我能感覺到與他之間的致命吸引，也許這是因為他似乎也希望陷入盲目的戀愛世界。
Perhaps, however, I was naive or mistaken or read too much into some of the things that happened between Michael and me. Even if that is so, I always behaved in a completely professional manner. Unfortunately, being fired from that tour had terrible repercussions for me both psychologically and professionally. I hope I will be able to put the experience behind me someday and go on, but for years it has haunted me. Certainly it illustrates how show business, money, and greed can keep apart two people who care for each other.
但也或者是我自己天真，將我們之間發生的事情賦予了太多或誤以為是那樣。即便如此，我也總是表現出了絕對的專業態度。不幸的是，從巡演中被除名對我產生了很糟糕的影響，不論是心理上還是事業上。我希望自己某壹天能夠將這段經歷拋諸腦後繼續生活，然而幾年來它仍在我心頭縈繞不去。對於演藝界、金錢、貪欲如何能將兩個相愛的人分開，這的確是個好的例子。